Tuesday, 14 July 2015

Proof of Alien Activity on Earth

I am somewhat stunned at the resolution of the bijou Greek debt problemette. The idea that resolution, after extreme dissent and acrimony, was only found once Merkel and Tsipras were locked in a room under compulsory orders to come to an agreement is just bizarre.

Just what was in that room that persuaded the two leaders to come up with a proposal, by themselves after months of team negotiations, that was guaranteed to alienate both of them from their electorate? Was the Pope in there revealing the apocalyptic third secret of Fatima? Or was it just the US secret service revealing all the goat photos they have on them both? Or was there a representative from Nevada’s infamous Area 51? Because I have had to reach into my drawer, pull out and dust off my tin foil beanie (last employed when I spoke to my estate agent) to filter out some of the radiation that the EU is trying to use to take over our minds.

The deal is less permanent than applying Polyfilla to the Grand Canyon (though there’s an advert idea for Polyfilla) with the divisions now apparent across Europe as gapingly wide and deep. What a load of bollocks.

This newfound EU skill in bullshit diplomacy has even been extended to foisting EFSM Greek rescue contributions on the UK. How clever is that when they should be trying to curry favour ahead of the UK EU referendum? OK, perhaps Schaeuble is wanting UK out before they are even in the Euro, but he’s too clever for that. It must be a higher level of control .

So my highest ranking probability for outcome for all this, or as the banks like to put it, my 'base case', is that this planet is indeed populated by a master race of aliens. Eat your heart out Von Daniken, David Icke, Christian Scientists and all you nutters trying to dig through ancient archeology for proof, you been wasting your time. You have to look no further than the recent activities at very high levels in Europe for proof of alien existence and their influence on this planet.

And if you don’t believe me? Ask the former Canadian defence minister, who probably came to his conclusions whilst at a European Summit. Dan Brown? There's a book in this for you.

A list of things the Aliens are obviously responsible for

Nazca Lines.
Greek referendum.
My missing socks.
EU proposal to Greece.
Flight MH370.
Tsipras's U-turn after a mind replacement.
Enforcement of EFSM contribution on UK.
French foreign policy.
Greek government's interpretation of how to represent the outcome of the referendum.
EE Customer service.
Greece’s acceptance of EU proposal.
London tube driver unions.
German finance minister's planet conquering psyche.
Donald Trump.
Jeremy Corbyn’s ouburst on Channel 4 (his lizard face was almost seen). 
Chinese stock market.
Iran nuclear deal.
End of the dinosaurs.
The Bristol Pound.
Mass hypnosis of the Greek populace after the EU deal.
Everything in the Daily Mail.
30 miles of inactive roadworks on the M3 - obviously an extraterrestrial signalling device (see Nazca Lines).
Mark Carney’s paralysis over UK rates.
EUR/USD exchange rate
Artisan food markets.
The Tunguska event.
EU summits.

1 comment:

Corey said...

So the Greeks voted against the austerity measures and in return receive more austerity measures. Something doesnt smell right. What do you think the chances are that it gets through their parliament?