Saturday, 27 June 2015

Cries I can’t hear but I know are out there:-

Cries I can’t hear but I know are out there:-

Hellenic debt isn’t the same as Greek debt is it? It is? No way.. Shit

Ok, I want a complete breakdown of our Greek exposure. Huh? Why is it too late?

Ok, cut all credit lines to any company ending in ‘os’  no matter where in the world they are domiciled (from any bank credit director).

What the fk is going on in Greece? Where’s that intern Spyros, he’s Greek .. Oi Spyros.. WTF is going on?

The CDS will pay out won’t it? You bought the CDS FROM the Hellenic republic? It was cheap? You wha…'

Don’t worry sir, my model shows that the chances of Greece leaving the Euro are a 6 sigma event as it hasn't happened before, so we should be absolutely fine.

Sun cream, shades, swimmies, evening casuals, cash lots of cash and errrr .. food, bottled water, riot shield.

Darling, does this mean that we will have to use manchago instead of feta in the Ottolenghi salad?

Mwuahahahaahaha.. (in a German accent).

Does this mean that they are in or out of the European League? I’m sure we were playing them in the 3rd round.

So is my delayed Athens departure to Dubai on Norwegian Air covered under the EU air compensation agreement or not. (Ken V).

Duty free! We can do Duty free! Oi Doris, get me another 10 bottles of that green shit and 600 Mayfair smokes.

Olives, go long olives! Or is it short olives? Where are research when you need 'em?

Well when I arrived you were in the EU, what do you mean I now have to pay $2000 for a visa?

Hello, Kalamaki Marina? Errr, can I reflag? No? My yacht is where?

Darling, did you pack my red trousers? (clueless lawyer on the way to the Peligoni Club)

Tell them I’m dropping the bid for the 20yr Piraeus base contract from €200bio to €10bio (in a russian accent)

Danny, get me a 3 minute clip edited down. I need an emotional highs 'n' lows montage of Greece’s EU membership for the end of the 6pm news. Yes like the World Cup one. No you can’t use that.

FIND ME CRYING PEOPLE!!! (editor of BBC news)

Mate, I wouldn't mention that 15 yr cross currency-swap you did for the Greeks in 2001 on your CV.

Gas pipelines, hmmm. Forgot those. Good thing they aren’t going to go through Greece.... YOU WHAT?

So in FKD’s* that's still €3 for the small coffee (Any greek cafe owner)

What do you mean you can't switch the ELA off? The lever's stuck?

Boys, it's Christmas! (all financial lawyers)

Look, just read from the sheet down the phone like this "Mrs Kritikos? Our records show that you may be entitled to FKD* 56,000 compensation for being miss-sold entry into the EU,  or exit out of it"... There, got it?

You don’t know how to spell Dijsselbloem or Varoufakis. Where have you been?

And tell all London sales and trading I want them in by 4 am Monday. There is money to be made. I don’t give a fuck that Singapore is in, they aren’t going to rape our clients, that’s our job.

Call me when the Albanian Lek hits parity with the FKD*.

He says he can’t find the refugees, they appear to have gone home.

Get me EUR/FKD* calls!

*(Formally Known as Drachma)

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