Financial Twitter Templates

With Christmas coming up this may well be my last post for a while as I get down to some serious not doing anything. But before I go, I thought I'd help out all financial twitter users by providing some ready financial twitter templates to save time and effort during this socially busy time. If used sensibly they should provide the appearance of superior financial twitterance whilst you are actually inebriated and trying to defuse family bickering.

Just cut and paste a line from below inserting where prompted - I hope they come in useful.

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WOW!! [insert asset] hasn’t been this [insert high/low] since [insert last time]

The [insert yield curve] is [insert bp] [insert flatter/steeper] after that.

[insert number] #[insert acronym for upcoming data release]guesses

If [insert asset] goes through [insert price] then it’s really in [insert trouble or take off mode]

That's that then

[insert central banker] says that monetary policy will remain [insert tight or loose] for [insert period of time]

Picketty on [insert any social science] [insert a not working link]

[insert fund manager] has had drawdowns of [insert %] and hasn’t made any money since his [insert fund manager's only winning trade] call

Booom.

[insert name of someone you think people will listen to] says [insert anything they say that supports your view]

Am I the only one that thinks [insert something obvious]

Germany's Weidmann says [insert something that will not rescue Europe]

[insert asset] breaks [insert price] *NOTE - VERY IMPORTANT NOT TO INCLUDE ANY OTHER INFORMATION SUCH AS WHY THAT FACT IS RELEVANT.

Must read! - [insert a link to a 2000 page document of mind numbing stupor]

Ha, [insert someone clever], not looking so clever now after [insert only market move to have gone against the clever person ever]

Hi, I'm doing a sponsored [insert something fun you've always wanted to do] can you please give generously at [insert your Just Giving webpage where all the existing contributions are at least $500]

[insert bank name] say [insert asset] goes to [insert price] in 2015 [insert link to bank report]

This is interesting [insert link to a subscription only site costing $20k per month]

#ff [insert 7 people you want to follow you]

[insert any twitter handle] hey that's funny dude!

[insert asset price] approaching [insert support/ resistance] at [insert any number between 1 and 100] fibonacci level

[insert asset] is going [insert up or down] as [insert a random asset] is [insert lower/higher].

Woooooooaaahhhhhhhh. * NOTE - CAN BE USED AT ANY TIME BUT MOST SUITABLY AFTER A DATA RELEASE.

I’ve just had lunch with [insert important person], what a really decent person.

Thanks to everyone at [insert large institution] for hosting my talk on [insert a subject that sounds complicated]

Jeezz [attach a twitter picture of random intersecting lines]

[insert random news headline] * NOTE - ONCE AGAIN DO NOT CONFUSE THE TWEET WITH FURTHER EXPLANATION AS TO ITS RELEVANCE.

Happy Christmas!

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That last one was meant from me but also makes an ideal tweet.
New templates gratefully received in the comments section.