Tuesday, 19 July 2016

The Turkey Quiz

If you were a British tourist about to go on holiday to Turkey would you

- Go anyway, you owe it to the kids and the beaches should be less busy.
- Don’t go and blame Brexit as GBP/TRY is still lower than it was before Brexit.
- Tell all your friends you are going to Turkey but actually go to Greece.
- Pack camouflage towels.
- Still be paying €3 for a tiny coffee on the seafront.

If you were Jean-Claude Juncker would you be

- Expressing concern over the turn of events in Turkey
- Making sure that a meeting was scheduled for the Commission deputies to table a feasibility study into a further meeting for the Commission in 2020 to discuss the potential impact of the recent events in Turkey.
- Examining the latest terms from Mr. Erdogan with respect to limiting the flow of refugees through Turkey.
- Hoping that nothing blows up in Turkey until August 1st, when you will happily be away for a month somewhere in the South of France.
- Threatening Turkey with non-membership of the EU if they don’t comply with the EU directive on effecting autocratic states.
- Taking keen notes as Erdogan seems to have nailed the transition from democracy to autocracy that you've been so yearning for. Genius.

If you were Frau Merkel would you

- Be staying very very quiet.
- Threaten Turkey with no EU membership if it reintroduces capital punishment, even though you made it clear to the British during Brexit that Turkish EU membership would never happen so please don’t consider it as an issue.
- Be secretly hoping that Turkey opens the flood gates to immigrants because despite the populace's protests, immigration may be the answer to Germany's demographic problem.
- Be building another wall. But this time around the whole country.

If you were a Human Resources consultant would you be

- Wishing you'd got that Turkish contract.
- Wishing you'd got that Turkish contract.
- Wishing you'd got that Turkish contract.
- Arrrgghhhhhhhhhhhhh!

If you were a cafe owner in Bodrum would you

- Reprice all your menus down because the fall in tourism means you need to attract more customers.
- Borrow from Greek economics and double your prices because to make the same money from half the customers you need to.
- Reprice your menus up due to the inflationary effect of a falling Lira
- Continue to charge in Euros as you always have. A small coffee remaining resolutely at €3, because that’s just the way of the world.

If you were the Governor of the Greek island of Kos would you

- Start an import business taking advantage of the falling prices 2.5 miles away in Turkey.
- Sound the alarm as 14 Turkish naval vessels bore down on your island
- Call your cousin in Athens and ask him for the market price on the 14 second-hand naval vessels that have just surrendered to you and are cluttering up your harbour restricting your import business.
- Pack your bags and head for your mother’s place in the Pindus mountains as you are far too close for comfort.

If you were Mr. Obama would you

- Be on the Bat-Phone to Mr. Erdogan personally offering him your every support, including water cannon if he was short of them.
- Be expressing your utmost support for those who support democracy, but not mentioning any names in case you are held to them.
- Be reclassifying one building in Pennsylvania, containing a certain person, as Turkish territory but restricting all access to it?
- Hoping it all goes to hell in a hand basket but not until you hand over the reins to the next poor mug incumbent. By God, both of them deserve it.
- Threatening to expel Turkey from NATO

If you were Mr. Putin would you be

- Praying for Turkey to be expelled from NATO
- Expressing your wish for stability in the region and the continuation of democracy in the country.
- Working out how the changes in Turkey would affect your humanitarian work in Syria
- Skyping your new best friend in Ankara.
- Google map searching suitable sites for your next mega-villas on the Datca peninsular.
- Falling about laughing, whilst pressing the GO button on your ‘Turkey 5 year plan’ control panel.

If you were a US investor in the stock markets would you

- Be concerned over earnings data about to unfold over the next few weeks.
- Be watching the Trump circus and wondering if it will effect Fed policy
- Be looking at the trend lines and buying more.
- Have forgotten every reason you had for not buying stocks when they were 20% cheaper.
- Be 25yrs old and never needing a job as this day trading, long only, is easy.
- Be asking what all this Turkey nonsense is about when it isn’t even November.


Up side Down said...

Brilliant, and your blog is all the better for the relative absence of inane comments that MM gets. Thanks and keep it up.

Anonymous said...

More great work Pol

I don't think Putin has been discussed (enough / at all) by world media in relation to how he benefits or not from Brexit and Turkey

Anonymous said...

anon 13.01
Why don't you sometimes look what Putin actually says rather than from behind the shrouds of the "world media" which has already twisted everything a dozen times and at best taken a sentence out of context. He said non of my damn business and asks why Cameron implemented a referendum if he didn't support it, which sounds actually quite sensible.