Thursday, 22 January 2015

A Chocolate Based Solution to National Debt

I have just received the most baffling email, which has left me unsure as to how to respond. Is this the latest attempt by some bot (though the address looked genuine) or Nigerian scammer to raise a reply and syphon all my personal data and bank account contents from me, or even a genuine one trying to get their money out as the Nigerian FX market has frozen up. You have to feel a bit sorry for the poor Miss who's uncle really is trying to get $40m out of the country. She must be wondering why the heck no one is accepting her genuine $8m for helping.

I thought hard about publishing the email as it was directed to me but as it is actively asking me to press you, dear readers, to act I feel I am but assisting towards that request.

Dear Polemic,

Perhaps you can urge your readers to write to their elected representatives along the following lines:

People who have made correct predictions in the past, and/or have good BBB ratings, predict that another Great Depression could arise from the popping of our national debt and money printing bubbles. The latter could eventually cause hyper-inflation such as was seen in the early 1920’s Weimar Republic. We must stop printing more money—or we risk starvation, social unrest, and threats to our democratic freedoms.

As for the national debt, I read that due to the drought there is expected to be a shortage of chocolate in the next few years. One of the more sustainable uses of the tropical rainforests is the harvesting of chocolate. If we purchase rainforest land for $75 an acre (we can pass a Constitutional Amendment if need be) and then sell it to chocolate makers for $2,500 an acre (with there being two or three billion acres,) then we can eliminate the current deficits for the next ten years. Perhaps by then the economy’s growth will be enough to cover it.

Best regards, xxxxx xxxxx

Is this just

a) A nice person trying to do their best.
b) Someone trying to jam up the wheels of political administration
c) A nice person who consumes a lot of chocolate.
d) Someone who knows me very, very well and knows that this level of wind up will leave me scratching my head as to its authenticity - if so well done.

If you have any comments, you would like me to relay to the author I will happily pass them on. We may just have time to warn the ECB that QE is not the answer and that a chocolate based solution to the world's financial woes are only a rainforest away.

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